Our society has a problem. The divorce rate in our modern world is very high, even among Christians. We can cite many reasons for this, but one of the concessions divorced people have to make is that they didn’t marry the right person. So we ask, did the problems that led to divorce occur during the marriage or were there warning signs present even before marriage? Though we could put some in the former, we could make the case that a lot of our issues start from a non-biblical perspective on dating. So what is wrong with our modern dating practices?
First and foremost, we must remember that when Christ had bought us with His immense sacrifice, we are to no longer act as the world acts. “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Rom 12:2). Now as Christians, most of us know that sex is reserved for marriage. But the issues run deeper than that. It’s not as if a Christian man and woman who date can date as the world dates, but just without intercourse. How we look upon each other must also be different from how the world views relationships.
In our modern society, we use dating as the process that leads to marriage. In other societies, including those in the Bible, marriages were pre-arranged between the families of the bride and groom. Some of today’s Christians don’t even believe in dating at all but only in courtship, where a marriage leading relationship should only occur when the parents (if they are believers) of the potential husband and wife have blessed the relationship and romance is only to occur after a commitment to marriage has been made (i.e., after a formal courtship has been arranged). While a case can be made for courtship, it isn’t the only proper path to marriage, but there are some elements of the courtship process that are very valid and biblical.